The guest list is one of the most difficult areas of organising a wedding! Obviously you want your friends and close relatives to be with you on the big day but too often the list ends up with a load of people you don't know or don't like. Take for example the bride whose mother-in-law to be, who (while not making any contribution to the cost) insisted on inviting lots of her friends (many of whom the groom had never even met) simply became she had been invited to their daughters' weddings! So here a few simple ideas of reducing the numbers.
1. Hold the wedding mid-week. Give people lots of notice and those who are important to you will come, but distant relatives and acquaintances etc. won't want to take a day's holiday.
2. Don't add "and Partner" to invitations. Obviously if your guest is married or has a close partner who you know by name they should be invited, but if you have a friend who changes their partner more often than their socks you don't want to be shelling out for someone they picked up in the pub last week! Also Singletons find these words very distressing and end up trawling through their friends and workmates to find someone to go with them rather than admitting they are on their own! Most people at a wedding know some other people and if there is the odd person who doesn't know anyone, then careful table planning should deal with this. It is an excellent opportunity for a bit of match-making!
3. With distant relatives, apply a time limit. If you haven't seen them for say, five years, don't bother inviting them. This obviously doesn't apply to people living abroad, who, if they are prepared to pay hundreds of pounds in air fare, should be invited.
4. Consider a 'no children' rule. All families are different and it may be that you could not contemplate getting married without you beloved nieces and nephews there but if lots of your friends and family have children, even with children's prices, it will run up the cost considerably. If there are lots of children it is a good idea to have a separate room for them, with goody bags and an entertainer to keep them quiet during the speeches etc. and this can be expensive. Some parents will be a little stroppy at a child ban, but most will be glad of a day out on their own!
5. Hire a small venue and use this as an excuse. I held my reception at my sister's house, and this kept the numbers down to 50.
6. Don't get into a tit-for-tat situation. This is very difficult and happens all too often. It happens when cost is being split 50/50 between the families and therefore each family is allowed to invite the same number of guests - but one family has very few relatives. If they don't fill their 'quota' they know the other side will want to use the spare capacity and which they don't think is fair as they are paying half, so they end up inviting neighbours and acquaintances to make up the numbers. If this is likely to be the case, see the situation early on and arrange the payment split on a per guest basis rather than waste money on people you hardly know.